Why?

Consciousness. What is it? The feeling of knowing. Knowing what I am, who I am. Full control over the decisions I make. Why I do what I do. What inspires me to take those first steps? Would a horse run for 14 hours just to prove a point? Would it know what it was doing, or remember why it had started that morning by the end of the run that evening?

I stood on the sidewalk today, motionless as the rain fell around me, tapping the new leafs of small trees in front of me. My dog was sniffing in the dirt, then she was pruning the bushes, eating still-attached branches and probably tasting sap. As I watched her I wondered if she knew what she was doing? Was she doing it for a purpose or simply because some unknown force pushed her to start eating bitter branches off tiny trees.

While she did that I looked down at my one free hand (the other was holding the leash). I opened and closed my hand a few times, thinking all the while that I had full control over this process, that I could start and stop at any time, and that more importantly I was the one who initiated the movement. Would a dog stretch out it's left paw and marvel at the movement, ponder the significance of evolution all the while? Why do I have paws, and what creatures came before me that made these paws a necessary evolutionary step in the world.

Humans are considered to be one of the great endurance-based creatures on Earth, one of the few that can run almost endlessly. Some think it is this that has allowed us to thrive on this planet, that we were simply able to outlast our prey in the great game of cat and mouse. Eventually our foes would tire, and we would still be there, pursuing.

Many thoughts have gone through my head since I began the great journey of running and cycling and swimming that now so consumes my life. One primary idea has been the one that says all humans are endurance animals and that a return to that form of lifestyle is deep seeded within us, harkening back to our early days when all we did was hunt and run.

I still wonder if dogs have sentience, the ability to know and understand what they are doing? What I know for sure is that I do, and I choose the life I lead, to punish my body, and praise my body, and keep it nourished, so I can run for 14 hours just to prove a point.

Don't think so

I saw a sign while out running the other day on the Lakeshore path. It said "Joggers keep right."

I stayed to the left. I don't jog. I RUN, stupid fucking sign.

Let this be a lesson; never use the term jogging to describe what a runner does. Actually, just forget the word jogging even exists. It has no place. Anywhere.

The catch

The secret to a successful swim stroke, or so I'm told. I think I nailed it today. Briefly though, so briefly that I'll probably forget it by the time I'm done eating whatever snack I will be eating in 20 minutes time.

Writing from the phone on the train is fun.

Hit the pool today after a multi-week hiatus. No reason for the break really. Definitely not overtrained. Rain was the blame last week. Probably laziness the week before.

I realize now that I will need at least 2 days per week in May in order to do remotely well come the first race in June. I will need to stay downtown Wednesdays as well and train home to accomplish this. I don't want to give up my long Saturday ride, nor do I want to swim on Friday nights. Such is the trouble with swimming in Toronto: shitty hours. Certainly not going to swim in the lake anytime soon. The pollution isn't even the issue. That motherfucker is cold! I threw my dog in last week and she still hasn't forgiven me.

I think I'll try to bike tomorrow, but we'll see. My left as cheek hurts like hell when I walk and I might need a day off to recoup. That or a nice ass massage.

Will need to see what the girlfriend is up to.

Testing the mobile

This is gonna rock...

Misty

Today's run reminded me of Vancouver. Cloudy and wet. Not very warm. Probably wasn't the best idea to wear shorts and a t-shirt, but I figured I'd run hard enough not to feel it.

Not so much.

13km with the Running Room crew. Stayed around the front for the first half since I didn't know where the turn-around was. Nice to say hi to the odd runner that I'm just getting to know, but I was itching to go thoroughbred with my legs. Stumpy running is no longer my thing.

Got to the turn around and let them go. 165bpm is my new 136bpm. Fuck endurance building. I will form the base while I feel the wind in my hair. Running for me has started to feel like driving. My legs move smooth, my body goes horizontal, and I just let it sit on cruise control while I enjoy the scenery.

Blew past some lady like she was standing still. Nice.

I get my motivation from seeing how much I can beat people. Socializing or running with the group really isn't my thing. I use them to propel me though, and I works well. I want to be back, dressed, stretched, almost done my Americano when the second person gets back from the run. This is how I will make myself fast.

100km on the bike yesterday, and the legs felt good enough for this run today. Fuck yeah.

Need to start swimming still. Too bad I'm afraid of water.

Mental Barriers

Three weeks ago 55km seemed like a long distance to plan to ride. My average rides "back in the day" in Vancouver were around 60km, from Kits to Horseshoe Bay and back. I rarely went more than that. Now that I think back, I'm not sure why. I think the terrain around Vancouver made it more difficult; you couldn' t go too far in one direction without running into a mountain or river. More specifically, you couldn't go on a road forever before you had to hit a busy highway.

Cars and bikes don't mix too well.

Toronto is surprisingly good for cyclists though. You can travel in a straight line here for a long time. There are usually a lot of cars though, and the bike lanes are non-existent, but there are places you can go.

Three weeks ago it was a big loop, down Lakeshore to Winston Churchill, up to Burnhamthorpe, back to Royal York, and down to home. Busy around Square One, but otherwise ok. Legs hurt after 55km, but it was a good start considering it was the first real ride I've done since around August last year.

Two weeks ago I wanted to try going to Burlington. I wasn't sure if I'd make it all the way there, but I set out down Lakeshore on a nice day and kept going until I felt like turning around. I made it to downtown Burlington, stopped for a look at the Burlington Skyway which was creepily close to me, and promised I'd make it there next week. 82km.

Then yesterday I went for it. Same route, nice day, left earlier than before, knowing it would take me longer. Wind was against me the entire way, which sucked, but I kept going because I knew that the trip home would be oh so sweet (it was).

Through Burlington, under the Skyway, all the way to the outskirts of Hamilton. Then back.

100km.

Pretty fucking sweet for my third weekend out.

I think I'm going to try writing these while I'm out. I think I'm funnier after 50km and a Clif Bar.

First Post!

I have decided to start a second blog. The first one was a personal diary to record the buildup I did for my first (and so far only) Ironman, Ironman Canada in August 2007. I haven't really touched that one since.

For this year, 2009, I want to try and podium a race. Since all of the races I'm doing are short course races, the emphasis for training is shorter and harder. More speed, less time. More pain, less time in pain (hopefully).

The plan is to write after every workout. We'll see how that goes...